A meaningful way to waste time…

So 2014 was a bit of an interesting year. I don’t want to go into too much detail but a random chain of events occurred that kind of left me at a cross roads, and I didn’t really know which direction my life was heading. I started the year off as a semi professional footballer and by mid 2014 I hadn’t played football for 6 months due to my health. Being at the point of unknown I found some solace in reading, I read anything but I seemed to find some connection with different forms of inspirational and philosophical writing. I began to realise that I liked and shared a lot of quotes on my Facebook and Twitter yet I felt I didn’t truly understand them or know much about the people that wrote them. That got me thinking, these great writers, philosophers and educators lived the words they wrote, and I began to feel that only could you truly understand and appreciate something through experiencing it. It was at this stage I decided to take some quotes I liked and try incorporate them in into my life. I will admit that I was just trying to find a meaningful way to waste time but it became something greater than that, something that changed my life in so many ways. I learnt so much about myself, the world and other people. So the next few months became something of a little project.

Here it goes…

Act without expectation
– Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu, a philosophical religious figure who had great influence on Taoism. I started off by having great interest in areas such as Buddhism, especially the practices around Ensö and then I came across Lao Tzu’s simplistically effective quote. It got me thinking straight off, I realised that like most people I really had become concerned with  doing things that I felt I could ultimately benefit from. I have always tried my best to be as charitable as I can, but even then I tend to ask God (or Karma) to remember the good and hopefully return it to me!

I continued doing charitable things but I also started to try some random acts of kindness. I decided that I would share one of my passions with people, that being books. I anonymously left books at table’s in cafes so the waiting staff or the next customer could pick them up. I think the biggest moment relating to Tzu’s words happened on a Sunday morning as I sat in Brother Hubbards having brunch. An American guy came and sat between myself and a girl, eventually the three of us got chatting and we had brunch together. Something then hit me; I would never cross paths with this guy again, I needed to do something for this guy because ultimately I couldn’t have any expectation as I would never see him again. I stood up and said my goodbyes. I paid my bill and I also paid the American guy’s bill too (Note to self; Americans like the Prosecco brunch option, which is not cheap!). The waiter asked me why I was paying for this guy’s food? I simply said that I was doing it because I could, I had no ulterior motive. I left and went about my day.

This act also had a real significance. I was so taken in by the whole experience. The three of us entered Brother Hubbards as strangers, sat by the window seats as strangers yet within an hour I knew more about their lives than probably 70% of my Facebook friends! Sharing stories, pictures and thoughts with one another was really amazing. It made me realise that for so long I was missing out on so much. I am an avid coffee shop goer, I would enter, sit alone reading or people watch then I leave. I think of all of those stories I missed out on. I have developed a brilliant curiosity for people (although I have also discovered that sometimes that can be miscued for flirting or hitting on people, which is actually also quite amusing).

If you want to lift yourself up. Lift up someone else.
– Brooker T Washington

An educator and civil rights activist with quite an incredible story. I developed an interest in this man due to his inspiring life story, so I knew it would be great to incorporate one of his best thoughts into my life.

I think like most people, at times, I become quite self centred. I become consumed with doing things that I feel will give me some kind of feel good factor. Those things generally revolve around buying myself stuff or doing things that would be of only benefit to me. And truthfully nine times out of ten I feel no better than before. I thought it would be best to try make this a daily task; my aim was to try create subtle ways to lift family, friends and also people I didn’t know. I started doing little things like telling people how important they are to doing stuff like leaving my work mates notes and chocolate, giving people heart envelopes with messages and generally doing something that I felt would have some small influence on that person’s day. I quickly realised that those small bits of effort had great effect on me, I instantly felt more positive after each little gesture. I quickly became addicted to this; I have always loved to make people laugh but now I make the effort more than ever. Each day I send friends a funny video, photo or message, with the aim that they can start the day off with a laugh!

Respond to every call that excites your spirit
– Rumi

This quote appeared on a friends Facebook and I decided it was definitely something to integrate into this project and my life. Realising that football and/or work had dictated a lot of my decision making I really felt the need to embrace this quote. I initially started off by doing things like wearing just my underwear around the house and eating out of the cereal box but I quickly realised that I was getting in touch with my inner slob and not exactly exciting my spirit! Coincidently I was reading the book ‘The Moth’ during my Rumi inspired phase, and I came across a story that had the following;

‘And the thing that I love so much about saying yes is that where you start at the beginning of the day and where you end up can be two totally different places based on all the things you say yes to’

I kinda thought well that’s what I need to do, I need to say yes more and that will help excite my spirit. I ended up with a lot of random stuff happening, stuff that got me thinking, made me happy and essentially gave me a sense of being alive. I started to say yes to a lot more and with that the most random and amazing stuff start happening. I went midnight running along the docks on a hot summer night, sat in a charity shop with an eccentric bunch of people listening to live music whilst everyone drank wine from the bottle and watched a guy perform a manic air guitar routine as if it was complete art. I hung out with Hindu’s at 8:30am in a park, sharing stories and listened to Indian music. One night I lay on the roof of my car with two strangers looking at the stars and chatting until the early hours.

Embracing this quote has had real influence on my way of thinking, I can say that it has become a driving force in decision making. I now truly believe every decision should bring some kind of happiness, some kind of experience and some kind of memory!

I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being
– Maya Angelou

I knew only a little about Maya Angelou before this quote, and once I started reading about her life I instantly became in awe of the great lady, she has developed into a real role model for me. I learnt that she wasn’t only a writer/poet but she was also a singer, dancer and actress.

I knew if I wanted to try inspire people or at least be of some help, I needed to get my story out there and so I decided on a blog, I made the decision that I was going to openly tell my mental health experience, with the hope that it would help more people to become comfortable with the whole area. This way I could try live up to Maya Angelou’s quote as best I could. Although it was a bit of a stab in the dark because I honestly did not know if people would have any interest in reading my story. To my surprise the blog was read by a lot of people, and I received an overwhelming amount of positive messages from friends, family, athletes, work colleagues and even people I did not know. This was the start of my Maya Angelou inspired action, sadly the great lady passed away in May. I had been asked to speak at some mental health events, sharing my own experience and life. The thought of standing on front of people and talking about my vulnerabilities made me quite anxious. I really wasn’t hot on the idea but I started to think more about the quote and Maya, I decided that it would be a complete waste of time if I said no, I wouldn’t be fully experiencing the quote and said yes. To date I have spoke at various events and have openly wrote about other areas of my life too. It kind of became my own little homage to the great woman. Before each talk I give I read Maya’s quote. I have become something of an advocate around mental health and sport, and I will continue to write and speak at various events for as along as I feel it’s helping others.

So here I am at the end of my meaningful way to waste time.

Not for one-second did I think any of this would happen as I started this project, as I said it was nothing more than a meaningful way to waste time. I really didn’t imagine that anything truly meaningful at all would come out of it. It’s funny how you can discover the most important things in the most unexpected ways. There is a real value in putting some project into your life, it takes time but it can become really fun and surprisingly transformational. Im sure some of you will read this and think what an utter load of sh*t, and I can respect everyone has their own opinion but I know all of us in some way can make improvements to ourselves and I found this was my way. I would challenge you to try it, find a quote or piece of writing and experience it, put your own meaning to it. I will at this point finish with a quote I earlier used:

‘And the thing that I love so much about saying yes is that where you start at the beginning of the day and where you end up can be two totally different places based on all the things you say yes to’

Seana x